Shocked. Of the Culture Nature

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*I wrote this last week when I was feeling pretty blue, but I decided to post it anyways.

Sept 23, 2012 

Shocked. Of the Culture Nature

“The only real failure is the failure to try, the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment. And we must.”

I posted this quote when I first arrived to Vietnam. I came across it again today and had a think about it. School has been hard. I have definitely had failures. And so I thought, how have I been dealing with disappointment? Not the most eloquently. I often find myself going over the flops in my head, trying to figure out what when wrong. I become pessimistic and grumpy. I with draw from people and complain. I guess I was failing at the coping with failing, an culture shock. My awesome dad sent me a link to this positive teacher pledge. I read it every day, several times a day. I have highlighted the phrases that are most relevant to me. It helps me refocus during the day. http://www.jongordon.com/documents/PositiveTeacherPledge.pdf

For the first month and a half or so, I didn’t have any culture shock at all. I was loving this place! Then about last week the newness and ‘honeymoon’ phase wore off. I now am trying to find a way to make Ho Chi Minh City my home. I need to settle in. 90 percent of the time the noise and the trash and the masses of people don’t bother me. The other 10% of the time, I’m like this place is so dirty, there is piles of trash every where, I haven’t heard a bird chirping in months, I can’t stop sweating, WILL YOU PLEASE QUIT HONKING, and where is the FREAKING TARGET/WALMART?!?! Then it passes and all is well (mostly) again. I guess these are all phases of culture shock that we go through. I don’t think I believed in culture shock until now. It’s a real thing.

This week has been a hard week. I’d say it started last weekend. On Saturday, Michelle, Darren and I went to the Reunification Palace. I couldn’t really tell you anything about it as we didn’t take the tour, we just walked around and took pictures. I’d go again and take the free hour-long tour so I could at least learn something about the place. Then we met up with Alex and went to the War Remnant Museum. I was not prepared for what I saw. Shamefully, I don’t/didn’t/still don’t really know a whole lot about the war in Vietnam. But wow, that place was heavy. My heart broke for this country. The pictures of birth defects from the Agent Orange were so intense. So many of them were things that you would think you could only see in films. Just bizarre. I can’t bring myself to describe it, Google it if you are interested. I realize this is vague but, it’s all I can do right now. I realized that every story has different vantage points. I was floored at the brutality forced onto the Vietnamese from the US. But then I also thought, this is a communist country, how can I know to what extent this stuff is true. I have no doubts that wrong had been done, but just how much of this was exaggerated. I see people on the street that are missing limbs, or their knees bend the wrong way and their feet are permanently stuck to their hips, and I hurt inside. No matter what stories are true, the Agent Orange and other toxins brought over by the US could possibly be the cause of that person’s state. I am so thankful for 10 fingers and toes, and two legs that can hold me and arms that are functional. Wow.  I’m struck with the thought, “How can I not spare some ‘pocket change’ for these people. They can’t actually get a job, save for begging or crawling around and selling lotto tickets. I have been blessed to make so much here.”  As my dad would say, I’m blessed to bless others. It may not always be in the form of money, but I need to find a way to give to Vietnam.

Ok. Then my internet went out at home and couldn’t Skype my sister Kayla. The next morning I was supposed to Skype my whole family for my brother Kade’s birthday, so I hopped on my bike at 5:15 am to head to school to try and use the internet there.  No internet at school either. L I sat on the giant beanbags at school and cried for a minute. Then I called my family for a little bit. It was good to hear their voices, but I really wanted to see their faces. I love and miss you guys (guiltily) way more than I thought I would. I want to be there for the cross-country games and the band performances at high school football games, and singing and dancing with my sisters at ISU. I miss having chats with my dad, and coming and going throughout the day and talking to my mom. I’ve never been homesick before. It’s weird.

I’ve also read a few heavy books that break my heart all over again. While I love to gain new perspectives and read things that are more than fluff, I find it hard to separate myself from the literature. When I read a book, I really involve myself with the characters and their issues and their heartbreaks. Maybe this is why I am so somber today. I just finished a really good book, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. I don’t know much about life on Native American Indian reservations, but this writer puts you there. You are seeing and feeling what he is feeling and wow, it really makes you think. He talks about how laughing and tears are basically the same thing. He laughs when he should cry and cries when he should laugh. I related with him in the way that he processes and he copes. I usually cope with humor. The way that he is so heartbroken that he laughs is almost worse to observe than crying. Crying, you at least know they are coping or feeling the pain. Laughing (in my observation’s eye, in this particular context) appears to reveal an even deeper lever of pain that you can’t even feel it. That’s just how this book struck me. Awesomely witty, yet deeply thought provoking. 

Today is more of a somber/reflective day. It’s a tough day. I feel like being honest with myself, honest with you, helps release it. I’m not holding it in too much, I’ve let a little out…

As I'm feeling stupid being in the pool of self pity, I'm looking around in the coffee shop and wondering what the others are feeling. I’m left with the really random thought that no matter what someone looks like, they have a soul, they have feelings, they have pain. Everyone has a story.

Everyone has a story. What’s mine?

Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

9 Million people in HCMC, 9 million stories…

Mũi Né and Colored Chicks

I am laying on my freshly made bed, and listening to ocean white noise to drown out the city sounds. I don’t mind the city, but sometimes I just don’t want to hear it!

I need to tell you about the past few weekends. We have had a great couple of weekends. Last weekend was a 3-day weekend for Vietnamese Independence Day (ironic it’s the same weekend as Memorial Day) and a big group of about 20 teachers hopped on a bus and rode 5 hours to a wonderful little beach named Mũi Né near Phan Thiết. It was the perfect get away.

Dragon Fruit Farms

We took off Saturday morning and rode up to the beach. We took one pit stop at a truck stop of sorts and bought some local junk food. I had some fried banana chips, sweet potato chips, some peanut brittle (top notch!), among my popcorn and Pringles. J  Along the way the concrete jungle gives way to the real deal. Green is everywhere! Hills and mountains emerge from the flat streets of the city. It’s beautiful! We spot these funny rows of a farm, and try to figure out what it is. They look like big, green, spider balls. Haha, I don’t know. At first the guess was aloe, but then I spotted a not-yet-ripened Dragon fruit. Dragon Fruit Farms! Mystery solved. Guess what else I saw rows of…. CORN. It was a ‘golden’ glimpse of home.

The cash register!

fresh fruit at the truck stop

this was an accident, but funny

Vietnamese junk food ;)

As we rolled into town, the bus would drop people off at their hotels. When they asked where my friends and I were staying (about 10 of us) they shook their hands and said “no” too far. Ahh, Vietnam, how you entertain me. Would you care to know just how far was too far? Two blocks. J I guess that was where their bus station was and they go no further. So we sashayed our way to our paradise for the weekend. It was just one walk way lined with cute little “guest houses” but they were connected. Palm trees and sand lined the walkway that glided right out to the ocean. We all dumped our stuff, changed into our sweeeming suits, and plunged into the waves. 

The view into the place!

Our beach!

bungalow's on stilts

After swimming for a bit, rented some bicycles for 2 dollars a day, and went about a mile to a nice place to eat with the rest of the AIS educators. This place was awesome! There are many little two bed bungalows and trees with hammocks. And OF COURSE, a ping-pong table. All of the bungalows were on stilts (reminded me of Dirty Dancing) and then opened up to the beach where there were sun chairs beneath cheery yellow canopies. That’s when we notice a big black cloud headed our way. It was pretty neat to watch a storm approach over the ocean; it’s impressive. It seems so much bigger. It’s much different than seeing it roll in over corn fields ;) 

cheery yellow awnings

Thar she blows!

So intense! Us Iowans were being all hickish watching the storm blow in!

After it dumps for 30 minutes or so it clears off and we ride home to change and get ready for the evening. All of the bars have a street and beach entrance. We went to a place called the Wax bar, got some grilled kabobs and headed to beach to have a few beers. That’s when we spot the sign for a BONE-FIRE. J Subtract the ‘e’ and you get a bon-fire! It was super fantastic evening complete with some chatting by the ocean when we got home.

foggy lense, but roomies +1 (Anastasia)

Fun jumping pic!

The next day is Sunday. We walk out of our rooms to the tables in the center beneath grassy roofs and have breakfast together. We decide to rent some motorbikes and head off the white sand dunes! It was farther away than the red sand dunes but less touristy. It turns out to be about a 45 minute drive, but it was spectacular as much of it was coastline, no stop lights, 1/3 the traffic of HCMC, and sunny J. 

Bike gang, most of the bikes you see are us!

The Dunes were so cool, you could spot them from a ways off! We turned onto a red dirt road (an experience in itself for the drivers, as there were huge pockets of sand that make it slippery and hard to balance if you have a passenger) and at last we have arrived. We park and spot coco-nuts, and since we are all thirsty and dehydrated, most of us purchase a nut! When Kevin was done with his, he had the machete lady whack his open to eat the flesh! It was yum!

some of the nuts

what the inside looks like!

flesh eater!

On to the sand! We rented a ‘sled’ and hiked up the sand to try some slanding (sand sledding, I just made that up right now). I don’t think we knew the trick, or our fat American butts were too big and our weight was not dispersed enough to go very far or fast. But it was still fun! It really is just amazing. SOO much sand in one place! Including every crevice of our bodies!

Cool huh!?

little pond on the wee hike to the dunes!

The best part: on our way back to our bikes, someone spots ostriches with a saddle. That is right, you could pay to ride and ostrich! 40,000 VND, so about $2! You bet your bottom dollar I did not pass up that opportunity! It was pretty fun! I couldn’t stop thinking about how I was Fritz from Swiss Family Robinson, bounding around the jungle aback an ostrich!

ostrich rodeo!

That night we found EXCELLENT Mexican food and went to a chill bar for a few beverages. This beach side was a bit smaller but there was a nice wide staircase by the ocean that we all sat on and chatted. I will remember these moments. We are all new friends getting to know each other while sitting on stairs by the ocean drinking margaritas.

teachah family!

Headed home the next day, our 3-day weekend over and back to reality. I was sad to leave the ocean. Hearing the waves rhythmically crash against the sandy beaches, always brings me to a state of contentment, same as watching fire flames dance. The ocean possesses so many metaphors. It is so vast, and so powerful. So violent, yet so peaceful; mysterious, yet serene. It’s almost hard to verbalize, yet you understand it. Ha, who knows what I’m trying to say. I never took a philosophy class!

me contemplating world thoughts

the back side of our place, i forgot to take other pictures :(

Have you ever thought about the people that work at destination places? They are serving a population of people who are on a break from reality. Their reality is our break. What do they do on their breaks? It’s weird.  I don’t think I’d like it, since people tend to be selfish and ‘all about me on these breaks’. Kudos to you resort folks! I was thinking about you as I endured our ride back to our reality. Boo.

OK! Fast forward to this weekend!

This Saturday was so much fun! (I am kicking myself for not having my camera this day, so many spectacular things to be seen!)

So many awesome and new things happened! Part of the bike gang and I took off to find some breakfast! Every time I drive somewhere on my bike that’s far away, I feel super proud for learning a new part of HCMC. After some yummy lemon French toast, Michelle and I head back towards home and run into two fellow teachers headed to the Bến Thành Market and we decide to go! I bought some beautiful dangly earrings and two pairs of sandals! Whoo hoo! Shoes that fit! The lady goes, “I have big shoe, come here” and pulls us over. I was so stupid and only brought ONE PAIR of sandals to Vietnam. Duh Krystal. She was so fun. I really enjoyed trying to chat with her. She pulls my hand towards her and places her palm in mine. The middle-aged woman’s entire hand about fit in my palm. I don’t think I have ever really felt like a giant until this point! We both laugh and shrug our shoulders.

 

That afternoon my teacher’s assistant Ms. Lam and her husband take me to a bookstore to look for some supplies I had been wanting and to get a beginners Vietnamese book complete with a CD. I am really appreciating the Linguistics courses I took that teach you about where the sounds are made in your mouth and how to make them and lo’ and behold, the phonetic alphabet is actually going to come in handy! (the book is about that kinda stuff) I’m excited to try it, I’ll let you know how I fare.

 

They then invite me to have a traditional Vietnamese meal!! I was excited. It was about a 45 minute motorbike ride to the out skirts of HCMC. On the way, I saw two AWESOME things.

1.     There are always a bunch of people setting up shop on the side of the street. They will have sandals or belts or wallets just laid out for you to peruse and purchase. Well… I saw a box of brightly colored stuffed chicks. As I got closer I realized they were not stuffed, they were actually baby chickens that were neon colors! WHAT?! Oh my word they were so cute! But what would I do with a colored chicken?

2.     Then, as I turn the corner, there are these racks with bags of water. What are in these bags? Beautiful colored fish! This place is crazy! As I said, I was kicking my self for not having my camera!

 

We arrive at the café and it is just gorgeous. I’m looking at a cobblestone walkway, green lawns, a stream with giant lily pads maybe 3 feet in diameter that have a ridge 2 inches high on the outside, grassed-roofed huts with food being cooked in them, teeny tiny tables with teeny tiny chairs, traditional games set up, and a giant swing- like two stories high, made from bamboo or something like that. It was so beautiful!

 

We walked around and they helped me gather some food to eat, among the selection was field mouse, water with honey, beef and octopus kabobs, some Vietnamese fajitas as I call them, fish (whole fish with scales, face, and all), and a Heineken! Delicious! I was nervous about the food, but it was so good! We ended with some ice cream, peanut brittle and tea. MM MM GOOD.

 

As we are leaving we hear that they are going to play bingo! But not just any BINGO, they sing at you! The bingo cards are three horizontal rows, with 5 numbers in each row, and the goal is to get all five numbers in one of the rows. They pick a number ball from the lot and sing a little jingle that rhymes with the number, and ends with the number itself. It was so fun! I knew by the man’s body language that it was funny, but as you know I do not speak Vietnamese, so I don’t know what he was saying! J

 

I had it in my pocket so it's the only picture sadly :(

 

 

Following BINGO, we spy a traditional game that resembles a piñata. There is a small clay pot that hangs from a hook. You are handed a stick and are given a chance to walk up to the pot and create your plan of attack to hit the pot. They then will blindfold you and you walk to the pot and try to break it with the stick. It is hilarious! These big tough men whack at it with all of their might just to miss! So funny, the crowd just roars in laughter. Ms. Lam’s husband offered me a shot at it and I hit it! But not hard enough and the clay pot came back to hit me in the head. J haha.

It was SO FUN. I was the only white person there and it was funny to see some of the looks I was receiving.

Well that is more than enough reading for you for a while. Hope you enjoyed experiencing the adventures with me!

Until next time,

Krystal

It’s Not About Me

August 29, 2012

It’s Not About Me

I know that I haven’t blogged about school yet, and we are halfway through the third week. So… here goes. It’s hard. I’m trying really hard to process it so bare with me; this might be a bit rocky. (My Dad is laughing at me right now. External processors unite!)

Alright. So it is intimidating to talk to 17 4/5 year olds that don’t speak much English [yeah, they are 4 turning 5, not 5 turning 6]. I have no idea if that was the proper use of brackets, but I felt like a change up from the parenthesis. It is a daunting task to try and teach them content all the while they are learning the language. It is tough for them. Think back to when you were learning words like “Top, bottom, middle,” you had heard them before in your 5-6 years of life. Now try to image that you are in a new school, with a new language you don’t understand, and you are trying to figure out what the teacher is telling you. “What is top? What is middle?” Two tasks at one time, and you are 4. TOUGH. {Having fun with font today J}

As I am sitting here trying to think about how to describe school to you, I’m realizing I should blog more often, or journal, it’s really helping me work through some things. (Now my Mom is laughing at me. She’s been telling me to do that for years. Mom’s are always right!) I have been frustrated, exhausted, squeezed dry of ideas, and just plain lost. My kids are in “Adventures of the Random Teacher!” Anyways, I have been frustrated with them because they don’t listen, they don’t pay attention, they are rolling around on the ground, they are poking, hitting, spitting, karate chopping, and screaming at each other. AH! There are days that when they leave, I just sit and stare for a while. What could I have possibly taught them today? The whole time I am thinking about me. I don’t know what to do. I am failing them. I am a horrible teacher. I can’t get them to do what I want! I, I, I, I, I!! What is the first thing you learn when you go out for a sport? There is no I in TEAM. I had a good think today and decided that I have forgotten why I am a teacher. It’s not about me. I am here to shape students lives. I know they may not remember me much in the future, but I can help prepare them for the rest of grade school, which in turn will become high school and college. (There is a lot of I’s in there, but you know what I mean!) So, My goal for the rest of the week is to turn my focus from what I can’t yet do, to what they have learned so far:

o   Get in a line

o   Walk to different parts of the school in said line (Sometimes! Getting better!)

o   Tell me the rules of the classroom

o   Eyes on the teacher

o   Ears listening

o   Mouth quiet

o   Criss-cross applesauce

o   Hands in your lap

o   Several letters of the alphabet

o   Key phrases in the classroom (stand up, sit down, put a bubble in your mouth)

o   Several songs

o   How to read, write their names and numbers (they are in a number system)

o   Keep your hands to yourself (still working on that one)

o   And many more

See? I’m not failing. it may not be the content or level of progress I expected, but the more I learn about MY STUDENTS, how THEY learn, WHAT they are learning, and how much I am learning from THEM; the better it gets. I’ve learned [or realized, rather] that in order for meaningful learning to happen, there must be a baseline of structure, a level of expectation. Once we learn to control our bodies, and learn some more English, it will be better. Everyday something gets a little better. Even if it is SHORT LIVED, there is some measure of improvement.

Are you still there? I think that was more for me than for anyone else. Sorry. BUT, don’t think I don’t love it! We do have a lot of fun, and I love my class. We are still learning a lot about each other. They can ALLLMOOST say my name. It more comes out like Mista Rystal, Ms KA-rick-i-kis-tals, Kittal, or teacha. One little guy always yells at me TEACHAH NOOO TEACHAH NOOOO!! I thought for sure this kid is not telling me no. He wasn't he was saying Look! haha. 

Some funny things they say:

-       Teachah, so nice? While shoving a picture in my face.

-       Teachah, so haaaaht!! With sweat running down their faces at recess.

-       Teachah, I go pee-pee. Yes, please go pee-pee.

-       HIYAAA, RAWR (like tiger, but so strange), YAAAA.. they like to practice martial arts of some kind haha.

I once told them they could practice their ‘fighting’ as long as they had enough space that they wouldn’t hurt one another. I scolded a young man who forgot the rule and as he saw others doing it he says NO NO NO NO, sits down in criss-cross, and says, “Ohm.” HAHAHA so funny. Whenever I talk to him he raises his eyebrows every 3 seconds. So funny.

OH! Same kid comes barreling out of the ‘toilet’ {not actually IN the toilet} as we were waiting in line, and whips down his pants! What the heck kid?!  

: ) they keep it fun and interesting, sure they wipe me out, but they are 4-5, they’re learning!

Here are a few pictures of what we have been up to! (they are are of order but I don't care. Sorry :P)  If any of you are teachers and have some advice for me, PLEASE COMMENT!! J Thanks!

Listening to books

Practicing standing up and pushing in our chairs

Looking at books

Crawling through tunnels (they were nuts, rolling all over the place)

Again

They have a funny obsession with rolling pool balls around

Balancing bean-bags!

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom Smartboard fun (those things are amazing! Use mine everyday!)

Finding shapes!

Finding colors and shapes!

Practicing our Rules. They never smile for pictures for some reason. They are actually happy, believe it or not!

Again listening

Almost got the line thing down, it's SO MUCH  better!

more balancing

this is the 'Karate Kid', eyebrow kid, and pants dropper

I'm balancing too!

Her name is Boi, nickname Polly :)

Cutting out our nice hands!

Ha! This is how I get their attention!

Writing Letters

Learning to play together and share... so hard!

Reading together

I can listen! I can read!

Boys are alligators and girls run away from them.. ;)

Team work!

The parachute is absolute chaos, but they love it!

:)

Playing with shapes

Make a new shape out of shapes!

Letters!

Making letters out of clay!

Letters on magic boards!

How they spell and say my name

SPECIAL TREAT. You made it through the whole blog! Here's me on my motorbike! ZOOM ZOOM